Back in 2009, I wrote this post about a kindness experiment.I was so excited about this idea but never got the chance to conduct an actual experiment. So here I am again. This happened in Vancouver recently where a boy was arrested after police found out that he had a “hit list” of the other students in his school. He was also arrested for the possession of weapons.

For a while now, I have been noticing that there are a lot of initiatives teaching kids to be kind. One example is my friend, Michael Chase, who has been doing a great job with Biddeford Middle School & C.K. Burns Elementary School in Maine. (Read about Michael’s story.)

The Vancouver story brought my attention to the current school environment where students not only compete with each other for grades but also for popularity. It reminded me of my own school days where I had faced the same dilemma of survival through competition.

I started to ask myself the question, “How can we educate students on the importance of kindness?”

Perhaps we can conduct a “kindness inspiriment” (inspired experiment) with students.

Here’s how it works.

Ask each student to wear a blindfold. Then have a teacher guide and arrange them in two rows facing each other. Preferably, the students who are standing opposite each other do not know each other that well.

A teacher will start to ask some very sensitive questions while students will raise their hands to the questions. Examples of these questions could be:

• Have you ever called someone stupid?
• Have you ever been called fat?
• Have you ever been bullied physically and/or emotionally?

Generally, about 10 questions that represent some of the most common kinds of unkindness.

After that, both rows of students will be asked to start “hurling abuse” at each other. When the “abuse” is done, each student will hold the hands of the person standing opposite them and they will take turns to say “kind” words to each other. It can be a simple praise or an apology.

• I am sorry if I have treated you badly.
• I like you just the way you are.
• Thank you for being in this world.
• I accept you for you are.

When the kindness exchange has finished, everyone will be asked to remain quiet for a minute or so before unveiling their blindfold which will reveal these words on their blindfold, “THANK YOU FOR BEING KIND.”

Lastly, students can engage in a discussion on how they felt during both the “abuse” and “kindness” sessions, both as a giver and receiver.

The point of this experiment is to demonstrate a few things.

1. When we hurl any kind of verbal or physical abuse to a fellow student, we are blind to their feelings but more importantly, blind to the potential psychological and emotional damage that one can do with words.
2. People who have been abused verbally or physically can become blind to the kindness of others and shut themselves up causing depression, suicidal thoughts, and feeling of hatred.

The world can be built upon kindness and cooperation.  Instead of being an academic valedictorian, how about we guide every student to be a “valedictorian of kindness”?

I haven’t had the chance to try this experiment myself but I hope that some teachers will be interested in conducting this experiment with their students.

If you are interested in conducting this experiement with your class, please email me at francisheng@bekind2movement.org and I will get in touch with you.

As the snow flakes fall to the ground, I am reminded of how short life can be and how important it is to enjoy the beauty of the world and the company of the people around you. The world is a miraculous place and there are a lot of things that we can thankful for.

I stood at the bus station watching every snow flake flow gently to the floor, some landing on my black scarf. The reflection of the street light made the flakes even more beautiful. This is when I am reminded of a song as well, Josh Groban’s Thankful.

Here’s “Thankful” for you on a beautiful snowy Friday night. (lyrics below)

Thankful by Josh Groban

Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can’t see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can’t see.
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There’s so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves
There’s so much sorrow
It’s way too late to say
I’ll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It’s so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can’t see
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There’s so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences
There is a place we’re all connected
Each of us can find each other’s light

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can’t see
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more

There’s so much to be thankful for

Last year, while driving through a tunnel on the way home, I saw this little “thing” sitting in the middle of the road, frozen stiff as I drove past it. I tried to identify what it was but it was so small that it resembled a little mouse. I thought in my mind that there is no way that was a roadkill because there wasn’t any blood or guts. Feeling a little concerned, I immediately pulled over my car and parked it by the side about 30 feet away from the ‘thing.” I then tried running up to it to get a good look at what it was. As I look closer, I realised that it was indeed a little mouse but it stood so still that I did not know whether it was dead or alive. At this point, cars during rush hour was zooming into the tunnel driving over this mouse mercilessly. Most drivers probably did not see it and now they are wondering why I was standing near to the middle of the road.

After a few honks and when the cars were gone, I ran up closer to get a better look. All of a sudden, the little mouse started moving! I was so frantic and worried that it’s going to run across the street and get itself killed by more oncoming cars. So in my frantic moment, I chased after it like a mad man and it ran right into a hole under some shrubs beside the road. My first response was a big sigh of relief. I have never seen an animal so scared that it literally sat in the middle of the road with cars zooming past it.

I was glad that the mouse was safe. However, one detail popped right out to me. There was food in the middle of the road. This is where I got really irritated.

I have a problem with Roadkill. I do. My problem is…there’s so many of them. I even witnessed a seagull that in desperation of picking up food on a road was run over by a big truck that did not see it swooping down. So I have a problem with roadkill and a lot of times, it can simply be prevented if people did not throw food out their window. I do understand that not every roadkill happened because of food being thrown out but the fact is, I have seen it numerous times while traveling on the road.

I like to ask people to be kind and consider not throwing any food out their window, even if it is an apple core. It easy to think that the food will simply decompose but what we may forget is that animals who are hungry will always attempt to pick up any food anywhere, including food in the middle of the road.

So please be kind. It’s bad enough that animals have to forage our garbage and eat thrown out food found on roads. The least we can do is to make sure that we are responsible with perishable garbage and not throw it out unnecessary to attract animals which in turn can endanger their lives.

Animals live among us and to have to see a dead animal in the middle of the road and pretend that it is a passing sight without any awareness that we are contributing to the high number of roadkill in the country is unkind.

Be compassionate and if you do see a roadkill, try saying a prayer whether or not you’re religious. Thank you.

2011 has been a tremendously trying year for me, especially in the latter half – a year of huge and unforeseen transformations which made me evaluate the quality of my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual life. Transformations are extremely hard especially when it involves a great deal of pain, sadness, shocks, confusion, uncertainty and sometimes possible deaths. This year, I went through the most challenging and important time in my life. The change was and is difficult and heartbreaking. It is a change that made me gave up almost everything, including my personal beliefs, perceptions, habits, attitude and most importantly, relationships.

In spite of the tremendous hardship that I have had to endure, I would not have been able to survive if not for the kindness of so many people whom I call friends – friends I’ve known for a while, for a short time, for a day, even friends “for a moment.” I am eternally grateful for all of the people who have shown me kindness over this past year, teaching and guiding me to learn more about who I am. These are the people that saw the better side of me and took the time and love to tell me how much positive impact I have had over them and to others around me. These lovely people gave me the chance to take another look at myself, to learn and accept my strengths and my weaknesses. The kindness of their words gave me a second chance at life. I am grateful for their love, kindness and acceptance.

Kindness is extremely powerful. It has the capacity to heal wounds, give and receive acceptance and forgiveness, create long lasting relationships and inspire the world to become a better place. I started writing about kindness since 2009 and yet, it took this huge life change for me to realise that of all the people that I had been kind to, I have never been kind to myself…at all. For all these years, I was extremely hard on myself and I eventually became my hardest critic, scrutinizing every bit of my life and thinking that I don’t have a life worth living. This year, I found my life well poisoned with so many unhealthy criticisms and self abuse that my life water was darkened to such a odious degree – I did not accept a lot of things about me. The funny thing about this…is that I’ve always knew that I needed to be kind to me but I just never practised it. All of that changed…because of kindness and now I can be grateful.

If there is one thing that I can be extremely grateful for, it is that I am now practising being kind to me. I consider myself now as “artwork in progress.” However, I would not have been able to learn how to do this without the core support of the people whom I love and who loves me. Even though times are still challenging and there are more changes ahead, I am now learning to be compassionate to me – the person who survived till now, and practising every day to be kind so that I can be kind to others as well.

As I take each step forward, life gets better. So thank you to everyone who have been important guides of life for me; for showing me who I am and who I can be; for showering me with simple words of kindness; for loving hugs; for giving me strength when I needed; for being there for me when I needed comfort; for being just wonderful people!

Finally, thank you to “me” who found the strength to be kind to me and who decided that life is too precious to be given away at a young age; for learning that there is a second chance at life; for being strong and taking one step at a time each day; for facing everyday with a smile no matter how tough transformations are; for having awareness and for taking control of my own life and destiny.

As the Dalai Lama declares, “My religion is kindness.” I will add on for me – “My life is kindness.”

Jacqueline from 365give.ca posted an immediate and important call to help save the life of a 4-year old Ugandan boy, Joshua Khaukhn (he is also the soon of community leader, Mukhobeh “Moses” Khaukha.)

Heart surgery is Uganda is not a common procedure in Uganda. Joshua needs funds to undergo PDA Ligation (Patent Ductus Arteriosus), a corrective surgical procedure for children. When left untreated, it can lead to congestive heart failure.

The funds collected will go towards surgical, medical and travel expenses.

So please be kind and help save Joshua’s life by going to http://www.gofundme.com/Joshua-of-Uganda and donating any amount that you can to help save Joshua’s life.

You can also send words of encouragement to Moses, www.handsofactionblog.com.

For any further enquiries, please contact Jenn Anderson of the Global Outreach Foundation at jenn@theglobaloutreach.org.

Artists are known for their incredible ability to commit into perfecting their art through long periods of time – so is Jacqueline – she is an artist and her art form is “giving.”

On September 29, 2010, Jacqueline embarked on a quest to give everyday for 365 days and today, October 16, 2011 marks the day she completes her final give – her 365th give.

On her blog, 365give.ca, Jacqueline wrote about what she learned from this amazing experience and it came down to 5 very simple ideas.

1) You can give every day.

2) You can be the change you want to see in the world.

3) You can influence, motivate, inspire and teach philanthropy by being a leader.

4) Giving makes you happy.

5) Giving makes others happy.

I am truly happy for her and also incredibly grateful that Jacqueline took a leap into giving selflessly. She not only gave herself a gift but also a gift to many others who were able to participate with her gives by just reading her blog and taking action whether it be Singing in the rain on Day 169 or Giving water on Day 315.

So Thank You, Jacqueline. A big Thank You for you who took the leap to show the world how easy it is to give and why it is so important to give and in the end, everyone receives just as much as they gave, if not, even more.

For you, Jacqueline:

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. – Dalai Lama”

I immediately googled Jack Layton’s name and saw the news. Within minutes, friends on facebook start posting “R.I.P Jack Layton.” I followed suit. An hour later, an event was posted to light a candle at 9.00pm for the memory of one of Canada’s most prominent political leaders – I clicked on “I’m Attending.”

As I browse through news after news report of Jack’s death and the last letter he had wrote to fellow Canadians, I saw a the last paragraph of the letter:

“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.” – Jack Layton

What a wonderful message this is! He had left us perhaps one of the most simplest and heartfelt message to not just Canadians but for the whole of humanity.

So I want to say, Thank You, Mr. Jack Layton. Thank you for kind and compassionate message. I will always remember it in my heart to be loving, hopeful and optimistic.

To Jack and all who had left the world today, Thank you, whoever you are, wherever you are and may you rest in peace eternally.

One of them is Davie whom I met in one of my art classes in Vancouver.  Davie is such a wonderful individual and as I am writing this, this lovely gal is finding herself in a round-the-world extravaganza and enriching her physical and spiritual soul. When it comes to helping others and getting involved with building a kinder world, Davie waves both hands up with a smile. It’s hard not to get infected by her “sunny-ness.”

Then there’s Michael Chase from The Kindness Center. I call this dude my spiritual brother. Although we’ve never met each other, we share a very powerful connection that clouds over the distanced terrain that separates us. We don’t usually get a lot of opportunities to chat as he is busy spreading kindness around the world, but when I need a jolt of inspiration and love, I look to him always. I need only to read his facebook post to get invigorated! Moreover, his facebook messages are the ones that you wish you can inscribe into rocks and leave them to be found by people millions of years later.

If individuals weren’t enough,  how about a group of five? At the university where I am attending my art program, I met five dynamic young individuals who I think are really the future of the generation. They are Tess, Jess, Parker, Heather and Gio from Capilano Alliance of Students Abroad (CASA), a student-led group that aims to get local students involved in active community building in third world countries through an inter-cultural ideas exchange platform that propels healthy and self-sustainable growth within developing communities like Ibanda in Uganda. Each of them brings with them a different talent and specialty but all of us share a sense of compassion towards the world. Working with them has taught me what it means to stand by each other and to always be patient, tolerant and compassionate to anyone, no matter who they are. They are my pillars of strength in difficult times.

Finally, one very important individual whom I think plays a critical part of my life with what I do is the compassionate side of me. All of us have the freedom to choose who we want to be, what we want to do, what qualities we want to embody and how we share our thoughts and ideas to the world. I am grateful that throughout my life, I have been able to, at the generous help of others, tap and connect into the compassionate side of me that allows me to write this blog and meet all the people that I have met. Without recognizing that I do have a kindness self, I would not be who I am today. We have a choice to be kind and compassionate. Kindness is not something that we should have but rather a choice that we want and feel must be present in our life. The basis of compassion to others is to first be compassionate with ourselves and to do that, we have to invite the compassionate side of us out and make peace with the other side that is devoid of kindness.

Kindness brings healthy connections, and healthy connections nurtures a world full of compassion and empathy. Look around, who are your kindness connections?